The Beatles

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Album Year Rating
Please Please Me 1963 2.52/pi
With the Beatles 1963 2.50/pi
A Hard Day’s Night 1964 2.78/pi
Beatles for Sale 1964 2.56/pi
Help! 1965 2.48/pi
Rubber Soul 1965 2.79/pi
Revolver 1966 3.08/pi
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band 1967 2.76/pi
Magical Mystery Tour 1967 2.80/pi
The Beatles 1968 2.84/pi
Abbey Road 1969 2.98/pi
Let It Be 1970 2.78/pi
Past Masters Volume One 1988 2.95/pi
Past Masters Volume Two 1988 3.00/pi
Let It Be…Naked 2004 2.79/pi

Main lineup: John Lennon: kazoo. Paul McCartney: midget. George Harrison: cheekbones. Ringo Starr: tuba.

Other personnel: Pete Best: loser. Stuart Sutcliffe: dead.

PLEASE PLEASE ME

1963; Rating: 2.52/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: − / Production: ++ / Innovation: ++ / Total: 2.59/pi

  • 01 I Saw Her Standing There [A]
  • 02 Misery [A]
  • 03 Anna (Go to Him) [A−]
  • 04 Boys [B+]
  • 05 Chains [A−]
  • 06 Ask Me Why [B+]
  • 07 Please Please Me [A+]
  • 08 Love Me Do [B−]
  • 09 P.S. I Love You [A−]
  • 10 Baby It’s You [B+]
  • 11 Do You Want to Know a Secret? [B−]
  • 12 A Taste of Honey [B]
  • 13 There’s a Place [A−]
  • 14 Twist and Shout [A]

Young boys play guitar
Stirring the cherry blossoms:
“Love Me Do” is crap.

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WITH THE BEATLES

1963; Rating: 2.50/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: − / Production: + / Innovation: +

  • 01 It Won’t Be Long [A+]
  • 02 All I’ve Got to Do [A−]
  • 03 All My Loving [A]
  • 04 Don’t Bother Me [A−]
  • 05 Little Child [A−]
  • 06 Til There Was You [B+]
  • 07 Please Mr. Postman [A−]
  • 08 Roll Over Beethoven [A−]
  • 09 Hold Me Tight [B+]
  • 10 You Really Got a Hold on Me [A−]
  • 11 I Wanna Be Your Man [B+]
  • 12 Devil in Her Heart [B+]
  • 13 Not a Second Time [B]
  • 14 Money (That’s What I Want) [A−]

Formula works twice:
Even George writes a fine song
Little child picks plums.

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A HARD DAY’S NIGHT

1964; Rating: 2.78/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: ~ / Production: ++ / Innovation: ++

  • 01 A Hard Day’s Night [A+]
  • 02 I Should Have Known Better [B+]
  • 03 If I Fell [A−]
  • 04 I’m Happy Just to Dance With You [A−]
  • 05 And I Love Her [A−]
  • 06 Tell Me Why [B+]
  • 07 Can’t Buy Me Love [A]
  • 08 Any Time At All [B+]
  • 09 I’ll Cry Instead [A]
  • 10 Things We Said Today [A−]
  • 11 When I Get Home [B+]
  • 12 You Can’t Do That [A+]
  • 13 I’ll Be Back [A−]

Beatlemania
Coverless and maturing:
Reeds sway to the sound.

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BEATLES FOR SALE

1964; Rating: 2.56/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: ~ / Production: + / Innovation: ++

  • 01 No Reply [A+]
  • 02 I’m a Loser [A]
  • 03 Baby’s in Black [B]
  • 04 Rock & Roll Music [A−]
  • 05 I’ll Follow the Sun [B+]
  • 06 Mr. Moonlight [B−]
  • 07 Kansas City/Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey! [B−]
  • 08 Eight Days a Week [A−]
  • 09 Words of Love [A−]
  • 10 Honey Don’t [B+]
  • 11 Every Little Thing [A]
  • 12 I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party [A−]
  • 13 What You’re Doing [A]
  • 14 Everybody’s Trying to Be My Baby [B]

The covers are back
But Dylan haunts the dry leaves:
Depressing shit here.

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HELP!

1965; Rating: 2.48/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: ~ / Production: + / Innovation: +

  • 01 Help! [A]
  • 02 The Night Before [B]
  • 03 You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away [A]
  • 04 I Need You [B]
  • 05 Another Girl [B]
  • 06 You’re Gonna Lose That Girl [B]
  • 07 Ticket to Ride [A]
  • 08 Act Naturally [B]
  • 09 It’s Only Love [A−]
  • 10 You Like Me Too Much [A−]
  • 11 Tell Me What You See [B+]
  • 12 I’ve Just Seen a Face [A]
  • 13 Yesterday [A−]
  • 14 Dizzy Miss Lizzy [B]

Yesterday arrives:
Mania is left behind
By migrating geese.

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RUBBER SOUL

1965; Rating: 2.79/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: ++ / Production: ++ / Innovation: ++ / Total: 2.88/pi

  • 01 Drive My Car [A]
  • 02 Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) [A]
  • 03 You Won’t See Me [B+]
  • 04 Nowhere Man [A−]
  • 05 Think for Yourself [A−]
  • 06 The Word [A−]
  • 07 Michelle [B+]
  • 08 What Goes On [B+]
  • 09 Girl [A]
  • 10 I’m Looking Through You [A+]
  • 11 In My Life [A]
  • 12 Wait [A−]
  • 13 If I Needed Someone [A]
  • 14 Run for Your Life [B+]

Covers abolished:
Summer of Love approaches
As “The Word” is sung.

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REVOLVER

1966; Rating: 3.08/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: ++ / Production: ++ / Innovation: ++

  • 01 Taxman [A]
  • 02 Eleanor Rigby [A+]
  • 03 I’m Only Sleeping [A]
  • 04 Love You To [A]
  • 05 Here, There and Everywhere [A−]
  • 06 Yellow Submarine [A−]
  • 07 She Said She Said [A+]
  • 08 Good Day Sunshine [B]
  • 09 And Your Bird Can Sing [A]
  • 10 For No One [A+]
  • 11 Doctor Robert [B+]
  • 12 I Want to Tell You [A−]
  • 13 Got to Get You Into My Life [A+]
  • 14 Tomorrow Never Knows [A+]

Psychedelia—
A glorious mess of sound
And swooping fireflies.

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SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND

1967; Rating: 2.76/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: ++ / Production: ++ / Innovation: ++

  • 01 Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band [A−]
  • 02 With a Little Help from My Friends [A]
  • 03 Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds [B+]
  • 04 Getting Better [A−]
  • 05 Fixing a Hole [A−]
  • 06 She’s Leaving Home [A−]
  • 07 Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite [B+]
  • 08 Within You Without You [A]
  • 09 When I’m Sixty-Four [B+]
  • 10 Lovely Rita [B]
  • 11 Good Morning Good Morning [A]
  • 12 Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band Reprise [A−]
  • 13 A Day in the Life [A+]

A pseudo-concept
Masks the low sum of its parts:
The cicadas come.

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MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR

1967; Rating: 2.80/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: + / Production: ++ / Innovation: +

  • 01 Magical Mystery Tour [A−]
  • 02 The Fool on the Hill [A]
  • 03 Flying [B−]
  • 04 Blue Jay Way [A−]
  • 05 Your Mother Should Know [B+]
  • 06 I Am the Walrus [A+]
  • 07 Hello, Goodbye [A]
  • 08 Strawberry Fields Forever [A]
  • 09 Penny Lane [A]
  • 10 Baby You’re a Rich Man [B]…
  • 11 All You Need Is Love [A−]

A compilation
Shows the value of rejects:
Warm rain joins the stream.

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THE BEATLES

1968; Rating: 2.84/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: + / Production: + / Innovation: +

Disc I:

  • 01 Back in the U.S.S.R. [A−]
  • 02 Dear Prudence [A−]
  • 03 Glass Onion [A−]
  • 04 Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da [A]
  • 05 Wild Honey Pie [i]
  • 06 The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill [B+]
  • 07 While My Guitar Gently Weeps [A]
  • 08 Happiness Is a Warm Gun [A−]
  • 09 Martha My Dear [A]
  • 10 I’m So Tired [A−]
  • 11 Blackbird [A−]
  • 12 Piggies [B+]
  • 13 Rocky Raccoon [A]
  • 14 Don’t Pass Me By [B+]
  • 15 Why Don’t We Do It in the Road? [B−]
  • 16 I Will [A−]
  • 17 Julia [A]

Disc II:

  • 01 Birthday [A−]
  • 02 Yer Blues [C+]
  • 03 Mother Nature’s Son [A−]
  • 04 Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey [A+]
  • 05 Sexy Sadie [B−]
  • 06 Helter Skelter [A−]
  • 07 Long, Long, Long [A−]
  • 08 Reolution 1 [A−]
  • 09 Honey Pie [B+]
  • 10 Savoy Truffle [A]
  • 11 Cry Baby Cry [A−]
  • 12 Revolution 9 [B]
  • 13 Good Night [B]

Harvest moon flies fat:
Self-control lies abandoned
In strained partnership.

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ABBEY ROAD

1969; Rating: 2.98/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: ++ / Production: ++ / Innovation: +

  • 01 Come Together [A−]
  • 02 Something [A]
  • 03 Maxwell’s Silver Hammer [A−]
  • 04 Oh! Darling [A−]
  • 05 Octopus’ Garden [B+]
  • 06 I Want You (She’s So Heavy) [A]
  • 07 Here Comes the Sun [A+]
  • 08 Because [B+]
  • 09 You Never Give Me Your Money [A]
  • 10 Sun King [B−]
  • 11 Mean Mr. Mustard [B+]
  • 12 Polythene Pam [A]
  • 13 She Came in Through the Bathroom Window [A−]
  • 14 Golden Slumbers [A+]
  • 15 Carry That Weight [A]
  • 16 The End [A]
  • 17 Her Majesty [i]

The End comes tonight:
As a drum solo wafts down
We eat fresh apples.

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LET IT BE

1970; Rating: 2.78/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: ++ / Production: + / Innovation: ~

  • 01 Two of Us [A]
  • 02 Dig a Pony [B−]
  • 03 Across the Universe [A−]
  • 04 I Me Mine [A−]
  • 05 Dig It [i]
  • 06 Let It Be [A+]
  • 07 Maggie Mae [i]
  • 09 I’ve Got a Feeling [A−]
  • 10 One After 909 [B+]
  • 11 The Long and Winding Road [B+]
  • 12 For You Blue [A−]
  • 13 Get Back [A]

Spit and chewing gum:
Heading for a frosty roof
The new moon rises.

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PAST MASTERS VOLUME ONE

1988; Rating: 2.95/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: − / Production: + / Innovation: ++

  • 01 Love Me Do [B−]
  • 02 From Me to You [A]
  • 03 Thank You Girl [A]
  • 04 She Loves You [A+]
  • 05 I’ll Get You [A]
  • 06 I Want to Hold Your Hand [A+]
  • 07 This Boy [A]
  • 08 Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand [i]
  • 09 Sie Liebt Dich [i]
  • 10 Long Tall Sally [A]
  • 11 I Call Your Name [A−]
  • 12 Slow Down [B+]
  • 13 Matchbox [B+]
  • 14 I Feel Fine [A]
  • 15 She’s a Woman [B]
  • 16 Bad Boy [B+]
  • 17 Yes It Is [A−]
  • 18 I’m Down [A−]

The first new blossoms:
Please skip the German bullshit
And teenybop down.

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PAST MASTERS VOLUME TWO

1988; Rating: 3.00/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: + / Production: ++ / Innovation: ++

  • 01 Day Tripper [A]
  • 02 We Can Work It Out [A+]
  • 03 Paperback Writer [A−]
  • 04 Rain [A]
  • 05 Lady Madonna [A−]
  • 06 The Inner Light [A−]
  • 07 Hey Jude [A+]
  • 08 Revolution [A]
  • 09 Get Back [A]
  • 10 Don’t Let Me Down [B+]
  • 11 The Ballad of John and Yoko [A−]
  • 12 Old Brown Shoe [A]
  • 13 Across the Universe [A−]
  • 14 Let It Be [A+]
  • 09 You Know My Name (Look Up the Number) [C−]

Odds, ends, and “Hey Jude”:
GLOCK! GLOCK! GLOCK! GLOCK! GLOCK! GLOCK! GLOCK!
Frogs croak by the pond.

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LET IT BE…NAKED

2004; Rating: 2.79/pi

Composition: ++ / Lyrics: ++ / Production: + / Innovation: ~

  • 01 Get Back [A]
  • 02 Dig a Pony [B−]
  • 03 For You Blue [A−]
  • 04 The Long and Winding Road [A−]
  • 05 Two of Us [A]
  • 06 I’ve Got a Feeling [A−]
  • 07 One After 909 [B+]
  • 08 Don’t Let Me Down [B+]
  • 09 I Me Mine [A]
  • 10 Across the Universe [A]
  • 11 Let It Be [A+]

Better Spector-free
But “Two of Us” now comes fifth:
Paul is bashed by hail.

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